Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Moments of Low Eman

Yes. I am at a low point in my eman. Have I rock bottom? Not sure but I have never been more low in my last 5 years.

I have tried to speak to good friends, family, and even an Imam of a local masjid and their answers have been very weak.

Two of my closest friends confided that they also had low points in their eman and after a while I got the 'deal with vibe' from them - although not in negative way.

I've come realize that there is no support group for Muslims in small communities - even large city communities. For Muslim men, we are told to be strong "men" and most take that literally and show little about their true feelings when they are are having eman problems.

The eman low problem is coupled with my loneliness. While not thoughts of depression - I do have feelings of emptiness. I've spent my time killing it with sports news and other things to distract me from realizing my emptiness but I don't think I can no longer do this.

Perhaps its because all my good friends have gotten married (no - I'm not a woman) but Muslim guys to feel that maybe they are missing the boat on marriage. I don't know.

For some reason I feel an emotional/spiritual pain. I don't know why. Its a feeling that has sat at the bottom of my heart for a while.

I tried to cry the other day to see if it would but I could not find myself to cry after salah. I haven't cried in the longest time. Perhaps years. I think it used to help me.

I saw a girl crying yesterday. I was prosecuting her (I'm a 3L) at my externship. I felt bad... she was a recovering drug addict. Hearing her talk about her addiction made me realize my own spiritual pain.


At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anon said...

Salamu alaykum,

Perhaps you'd like to share your problems? That their answers were weak seems to suggest you have questions you'd like to have answered- try it bro. It can't make things worse.

At 5:43 PM, Blogger Dunia's Stranger said...

Wa laykum as salaam,

I have tried to share my problems with my friends but their response has been one of 'hey, we all have problems - just deal with them'

Which is to say to me "you think your the only one who has problems" or "I have problems myself but you don't see or hear me complaining"

One of my good friends told me my problems were nothing compared to his.

At 2:24 PM, Anonymous Anon said...

Well, I was hoping you'd share them with your audience! If you're friends can't help, perhaps someone reading this blog can.

At 12:58 PM, Anonymous spunkyone said...

Assalam alaykum,

Share your problems with Allah. Recite the du'aa for anxiety and sorrow: http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34

It will lead you to recite the Qur'an, which will inshaAllah lead you to increase your eemaan.

Realize your weakness, your need, your inability, and as you grab your heart, look at the sky, and cry, let Allah know that you realize He has all the power, and that you need Him. Beg Him. Keep knocking at His door until it opens. And surely it will inshaAllah.

Hope this helped you. Rabbanaa.. you are the One Who guides, so guide us, and fill our hearts with light, tawheed, obedience, and joy, and forgive our sins.

At 8:24 PM, Anonymous Ikram Hadi said...

as Salaamu alaikum,
Perhaps you should go back to Islam's basics. Being Muslim means submitting our souls to Allah. It means to stop having a 'personal' live, it means to start living for Allah, with the only thing you care about is how to serve Him every hour.

Once you totally submit your self to Allah, you will stop having problems. It is very simple but hard to accomplish.

Life is not supposed to be easy. Life is a never ending uphill battle. Our duty is to keep working, to keep struggling in Allah's cause. Can it get simpler?

Brother, please read some books on correct Islamic thinking. This will help you more than anything.

At 1:56 AM, Anonymous Uzma said...

Salamu Alaykum,
Every one should their problems only with that which you feel very close to you. becuse only close one can give you better idea and if we share our problem with others then we can be joke for others.

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Asalamoalaykum Brother,

I don't know whether you've recovered but seriously you're not alone!

You being concerned that your Iman is low in itself says a lot about how good a Muslim you are already.

I've been thru the same phase and trust me it's the whisper of Shaitan and the only thing that'll get you out of this prb is getting involved with brothers of your community in Da'wah projects or doing halaqas on whatever little you learn...SubhanAllah Allah guides whom He Wills and leads astray whom He Wills but hold onto Allah's Rope nevertheless and make lots of dua.

At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

and regarding getting married, you must work for it because it is highly recommended by religion for no reason, right? But I read a very good quote somewhere which goes something like this, " Your spouse is not a physical solution to your spiritual problems." And Allah knows Best.

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Dunia's Stranger said...


Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them.

Your right that problems of eman are not solved by marriage.

I do have a problem with eman. I was listening to this brother speak the other day and he mentioned how a Shaykh was telling his student talib-ul-ilm about why he respected a common man. He said to his student, "you know the book (kitabullah) and he know's the author of the book."

Implying that its one thing to have knowledge and but another to live it.

For me, my struggles with Eman have been too based on just reading/learning without actually doing the deeds necessary to bring it.

I'll write more about this in my latest post.


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