A Requiem of Self Sorrow

How did…

How did my heart become the cold rock that
Lies buried in dark abyss of an ocean
Of Isolation from

Allah.

Kyuh hum umpe dil ko dukhate h'ei
Jab humarah dil dukh sayhe baraeh hai

(Why do we wound our hearts
When our hearts are wounds themselves)

I felt something today, something that reached me deeper than the words that come as sound waves to my body. Today the words meshed through my clothing, through my skin and drowned my heart.

When my heart had drowned, I felt void in my chest.

All of this from words? Just simple words.

Words.

It has been a long time since I have met a person who has recently become Muslim. I didn't meet them today... but their words met me.

This person became Muslim only recently, last Sunday. I was told that they grew up believing without Allah... as a Muslim they other day, they started to cry when driving and seeing the trees and the creation of Allah.

I... I reflected on why I no longer felt this... did I ever feel this. In my heart I felt sorrow because I had neglect my heart to the point I could not feel this...

May Allah bless this Muslim for helping me see the condition I had fallen to myself.

Realizing this is only half the step, the next is to correct it. May Allah help me.