Saturday, November 18, 2006


The Secret Intimate Benefits of Hijab

I once recall telling a non-Muslim woman that Muslim men (who are married and their wife’s wear hijab) appreciate the full beauty of their wives more than men whose wives do not cover because the Muslim men see the hijab as obedience to Allah (which is beautiful in its own right) and a sign of the women sharing their beauty only with them. I was able to convince this woman with strong feminist beliefs that the hijab was more than what meets the eyes – it was a way of furthering the love and intimacy between a husband and a wife.

That conversation was over a year ago, but I think non-Muslim women are starting to realize that as point. I recently read this comment by New York Magazine’s Naomi Wolf:


I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?” I asked, trying to find my old friend in there. “No,” she demurred quietly. “Only my husband,” she said with a calm sexual confidence, “ever gets to see my hair.”

When she showed me her little house in a settlement on a hill, and I saw the bedroom, draped in Middle Eastern embroideries, that she shares only with her husband—the kids are not allowed—the sexual intensity in the air was archaic, overwhelming. It was private. It was a feeling of erotic intensity deeper than any I have ever picked up between secular couples in the liberated West. And I thought: Our husbands see naked women all day—in Times Square if not on the Net. Her husband never even sees another woman’s hair.

She must feel, I thought, so hot.

Compare that steaminess with a conversation I had at Northwestern, after I had talked about the effect of porn on relationships. “Why have sex right away?” a boy with tousled hair and Bambi eyes was explaining. “Things are always a little tense and uncomfortable when you just start seeing someone,” he said. “I prefer to have sex right away just to get it over with. You know it’s going to happen anyway, and it gets rid of the tension.”

“Isn’t the tension kind of fun?” I asked. “Doesn’t that also get rid of the mystery?”

“Mystery?” He looked at me blankly. And then, without hesitating, he replied: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Sex has no mystery.”


I think that the new generation of teenagers and twenty something year olds are all missing out on this secret aspect of intimacy between lovers. Although Naomi Wolf’s friend is a Orthodox Jewish woman who covers and shares her secret love with her husband, we can not readily find many Muslim sisters in the States who cover for the sake of Allah and the added benefit of appreciation from their husbands that their covering is a protection of the intimacy they share. Its sad that this person Wolf interviewed had lost notions of sex being perhaps mysterious.

4 Comments:

At 6:06 AM, Anonymous Muslimah said...

Insightful. I can't help but think back to the Fiqh of Love.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Dunia's Stranger said...

Yes, we dont appreciate the way the fiqh of Islam has deeply incorporated this intimacy between a husband and wife.

 
At 4:00 AM, Anonymous Muslimah said...

I apologise, I should have been clearer.

The AlMaghrib Institute actually holds a seminar appropriately entitled, 'The Fiqh of Love'.

If you look to the life of our Prophet (SAS) we find countless examples of how romantic and tender he was with his wives. But unfortunately, some ppl - for whatever reason- believe that a severe countenance and rough manner are actually encouraged in our deen!

Anyhow, the following includes a relevant verse from the Qur'an and a quote by a renowned Muslim scholar:

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts) verily in that are signs for those who reflect."
- ArRum 30:21

"Of Love--may God exalt you!--the first part is jesting, and the last part is right earnestness. So majestic are its diverse aspects, they are too subtle to be described; their reality can only be apprehended by personal experience. Love is neither disapproved by Religion, nor prohibited by the Law; for every heart is in God's hands."
- Ibn Hazm

excerpted from: www.almaghrib.org/fol.php

The subject of intimacy between husband and wife is also covered. I would recommend taking the seminar in the U.S. if you can, and if not to purchase the full recording.

It was certainly an eye-opener

 
At 4:33 AM, Anonymous Resep Makanan Nusantara said...

Terimakasih sudah memberikan informasi ini, semoga informasi yang dibagikan ini bermanfaat bagi yang lainnya dan menjadi pahala buat penulisnya. Hijabpashminaku.com

 

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